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Lord Chian                                                                                                                                   A corrupt third world dictator, ruling over the Chian Empire. Brutal, ruthless and sometimes efficient. Lord Chian’s rule is ensured due to his private army, the Chian Guard, who keep the streets empty, and their own pickets full.

Commissar Bernadette                                                                                                           It appears a degree in economics doesn’t have much use in a police state, so Bernadette joined the Chian Guard instead. While intelligent and cunning, Bernadette is far more concerned with earning personal wealth rather than doing her job, making her even more corrupt than the average Chian Guard officer.                                   Despite all the money she has accumulated, she lives with her steriotypical mother and brother.

General Disorder                                                                                                                     The commander of the local Chian Guard regiment. Never seen without his bottle of Gut Rot Beer.

Billy                                                                                                                                              Despite being the regiments leading electronics expert, Billy’s farming background means he has no understanding of technological devices. Lives in constant fear of the “Magic Devil Box” which talks to him.

Masuki Isha                                                                                                                                The leading reporter in the Chian News crew. Masuki is constantly broadcasting the news that is well, regardless of what is actually happening.

The Native Conscripts                                                                                                              These two unfortunate orphans are given the most unpleasant jobs the regiment can’t unload on anyone else. One is loyal and optimistic, the other bitter and sarcastic.

Hippie Brother                                                                                                                           Bernadette’s stereotypical hippie brother.

Bernadette’s mother                                                                                                                A rather stereotypical overbearing mother. Never seen out of the kitchen, or out of her apron.

The International Inspector                                                                                                      Sent by the board of international relations, the inspector has been given the mission of collecting proof of the evils the Chian Empire is accused of. Constantly fails to find any evidence of torture, oppression and weapons of mass destruction, but still fanatically obsessed with getting one over the Chian officials he deals with.

The Beatniks                                                                                                                             Discussing philosophy, art and coffee. One has dark glasses, the other doesn’t, but besides this there is no difference between them.

The Chian Guard                                                                                                                        One of the innumerable Chian Guard, no doubt about to meat a horrible end.

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